Pretty amazing I’m gaining the confidence to go outside in my front yard in town into my pool in a 2 piece bathing suit…after I enjoyed pizza for lunch and some dove chocolate throughout the day. And you know what…I didn’t even care! I think my smile says it all.
I get it. I have struggled with ED since I was 5 years old (30 years of my life). From anorexia to bulimia to binging to EDNOS. I’m going to be 36 this fall. I missed out on a lot of life due to ED. Bipolar, drugs, and physical illness brought on by lack of self care. I thought I has hopeless, the exception, the one who should just give up. Two great treatment centers helped me. One was back in 2011 and then Rosewood in 2014 and 2015. I learned to believe I was worthy, valued, loved, and that I mattered. I had two choices in life. I could continue to believe I was the “exception” and not able to be helped while continuing to keep a negative perspective on EVERYTHING….Or, CATCH IT AND CHANGE IT. Seemed stupid at first, like some fake lie. But you know what, those positive outlooks and perspectives started to become reality.
Recovery takes time and work. It’s not perfect, but it is achievable and maintainable. Only you can make the decision to recover—not your therapist, boyfriend, girlfriend, cat, dog, mom, brother…So what are you going to change today, your perspective on what??? It might seem silly and fake, make that change, tell it to yourself, and soon your soul will believe it.
I will share mine that has become a truth for me…I have come to realize I’m going to be 36. I’m not supposed to have a teenage shaped body with no hips or breasts and that’s okay because I’m in my mid 30’s. My body image isn’t 100%, but I have other things to worry about…Like saving animals and making the population aware of mental health. Peace.
Amber
Alum
Rosewood Centers for Eating Disorders
