Yesterday was my anniversary of the day that I entered Rosewood in 2014. At that time I had no idea that I would be a pretty much be a part of Rosewood until Sept 2015. I entered a very very sick, sad, insecure hopeless person. This was the end of the road for me. My doctors at home told me that they were surprised that I had not died in my sleep from heart failure yet. I was unable to drive any longer as my brain fog simply made it medically to unsafe. I could no longer work as a nurse and had to leave my career…which is what I am most passionate about.
My parents were at a loss. They had finally drawn the line and told me that I had a choice to make. I could either enter treatment at Rosewood or I could move out on my own (without the car since I was too sick to drive and nowhere to stay since I had no money. I was too sick to work). No other family would take me in because they were all on the same page as my parents! Doesn’t sound like I had any options. But I did. At the time I didn’t like my choices, but nonetheless they were choices. I chose Rosewood. It would turn out to be the most difficult and at the same time the most amazing year and a half of my entire life. In that year I was first of all nourished back to health. After that, the most amazing things began to slowly happen.
I began to slowly have hope again. I started to smile and laugh again…joy returned. I saw a future for myself. I started to have dreams and aspirations of what I wanted to do in life after treatment. Even through all of my resistance, the amazing staff were always by my side to support me, encourage me, guide me, care for me, laugh with me, cry with me, etc. Never in my life had I ever had people so consistently with me and never give up on me. And eventually I started to not give up on myself.
Then with my incredible therapists, we began working on my deepest core issues. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in life. There was a lot of resistance, anger, tears, yelling, misplaced anger….but with their help I eventually came out on the other side of that as well. I know there is no way I could have moved forward in recovery if my therapist had not encouraged me and led me to get to the deep core hidden issues that I had buried so deep. For that I am extremely grateful.
And at the end of treatment I have Shannon Hershkowitz, my alumni coordinator, recovery coach, my tribe leader, my friend. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I did not have the support of Shannon, I would have relapsed. She is way more than a FB alumni page moderator. She is there to listen, support, encourage and challenge me. After treatment is when life begins. Having that support and guidance has made a huge difference in solidifying recovery life. She doesn’t accept my pity party or my giving up. She pushes me further to know my plan of action, my next step and then accountability in follow thru. This had changed my life!
I can’t say that life us perfect now. Recovery isn’t linear. It had its ups and downs. But I can say with 100% certainty that I am alive today because 3 years ago I made the choice to enter Rosewood Ranch for treatment. And I fought with the help of some pretty amazing staff and therapists. Life is pretty good!