Call 800-845-2211 to check your benefits. Follow Us Facebook Twitter Youtube Linkedin Instagram Meet Our Experts Grace Melrose, BS, RDN Nutrition Director LEARN MORE Meet Our Experts Grace Melrose, BS, RDN Nutrition Director LEARN MORE Recovery Stories Play Video Rosewood Santa Monica Teen Eating Disorder Treatment More Recovery Stories Eating Disorder Recovery StoriesIn these inspiring success stories, our alumni reflect on their lives before and after Rosewood – from the time they first sought treatment to the fulfilling lives they are living today in recovery. Play Video Insurance TypeEmployer ProvidedGovernment Provided (Medicare/Medicaid)Self ProvidedNoneRelationship to Patient--None--BrotherClinical ProfessionalDaughterFatherFriendGirl/boyfriendGrandparentHusbandMotherOtherPartnerSelfSisterSonSponsorWife By submitting my information, I agree to receive communications, including text messages if mobile number is provided. Standard messaging and data rates may apply. Alumni Eating Disorder Recovery Stories Play Video Alums, Family, & Staff Share Inspiring Stories Play Video Alumni Reunion Play Video Rosewood Teen Eating Disorder Treatment Program Play Video Alishia & Mom Share Rosewood Ranch Experience Play Video Rosewood Santa Monica Teen Eating Disorder Treatment Play Video Rosewood Saves Mom's Life Play Video Shannon Discusses Rosewood's Amazing Alumni Program Play Video Brian Discusses What Recovery Means To Him Play Video Teen Shares How Rosewood Changed Her Life Play Video I'm Alive Because Of Rosewood Play Video Katie Shares Her Life Changing Rosewood Experience More Success Stories From Rosewood Alumni And Their Families Pattie, Mom of Alum " I was looking for a program that was well grounded in evidence based treatment that would get her to the place she needed to be. Rosewood helped me get my daughter back one pound at a time. " Mariellen " Yesterday was my anniversary of the day that I entered Rosewood in 2014. At that time I had no idea that I would be a pretty much be a part of Rosewood until Sept 2015. I entered a very very sick, sad, insecure hopeless person. This was the end of the road for me. My doctors at home told me that they were surprised that I had not died in my sleep from heart failure yet. I was unable to drive any longer as my brain fog simply made it medically to unsafe. I could no longer work as a nurse and had to leave my career…which is what I am most passionate about. My parents were at a loss. They had finally drawn the line and told me that I had a choice to make. I could either enter treatment at Rosewood or I could move out on my own (without the car since I was too sick to drive and nowhere to stay since I had no money. I was too sick to work). No other family would take me in because they were all on the same page as my parents! Doesn’t sound like I had any options. But I did. At the time I didn’t like my choices, but nonetheless they were choices. I chose Rosewood. It would turn out to be the most difficult and at the same time the most amazing year and a half of my entire life. In that year I was first of all nourished back to health. After that, the most amazing things began to slowly happen. I began to slowly have hope again. I started to smile and laugh again…joy returned. I saw a future for myself. I started to have dreams and aspirations of what I wanted to do in life after treatment. Even through all of my resistance, the amazing staff were always by my side to support me, encourage me, guide me, care for me, laugh with me, cry with me, etc. Never in my life had I ever had people so consistently with me and never give up on me. And eventually I started to not give up on myself. Then with my incredible therapists, we began working on my deepest core issues. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in life. There was a lot of resistance, anger, tears, yelling, misplaced anger….but with their help I eventually came out on the other side of that as well. I know there is no way I could have moved forward in recovery if my therapist had not encouraged me and led me to get to the deep core hidden issues that I had buried so deep. For that I am extremely grateful. And at the end of treatment I have Shannon Hershkowitz, my alumni coordinator, recovery coach, my tribe leader, my friend. I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I did not have the support of Shannon, I would have relapsed. She is way more than a FB alumni page moderator. She is there to listen, support, encourage and challenge me. After treatment is when life begins. Having that support and guidance has made a huge difference in solidifying recovery life. She doesn’t accept my pity party or my giving up. She pushes me further to know my plan of action, my next step and then accountability in follow thru. This had changed my life! I can’t say that life us perfect now. Recovery isn’t linear. It had its ups and downs. But I can say with 100% certainty that I am alive today because 3 years ago I made the choice to enter Rosewood Ranch for treatment. And I fought with the help of some pretty amazing staff and therapists. Life is pretty good! " Caitlin " Going to Rosewood has been the beginning of the most transformative and incredible journey of my life. I am grateful I was afforded the opportunity to walk through the doors at Rosewood. For 14 years I tried to suppress my pain through eating disorders and various addictions. I did not want to exist, yet I am here, and I am beyond grateful to be alive sharing my voice. Self-hatred and anger I wore as an inner badge of honor. I did not realize that I needed help, love, and support. Rosewood took me in with loving, gentle, and open arms. I did not know of unconditional love, acceptance, understanding, and compassion until I stepped foot into treatment. I was surrounded with so much love and support, I started to believe that recovery was worth it. I started to believe that recovery was possible, and that I could love myself again one day. This has been a journey of self-love, acceptance, and authenticity. I once hid who I was to blend in with society while slowly dying on the inside. Now, I am gradually becoming all that I am meant to be, by loving all facets of my being. This has been a process, and Rosewood has made this journey possible. I have been learning how to fall in love with myself and accept myself and others since I walked into Rosewood. Thank you for helping me believe that recovery is possible, and self-love is the most beautiful gift we can offer ourselves and our world! We are all worthy of love, and we are all worthy of recovery. Recovery is POSSIBLE! " Alishia " I have so much to offer and so much purpose now. I feel like I’ve been reborn. Rosewood’s completely changed my life. " Lara, Mom of Alum " That first time that you have to make that phone call is the hardest thing you’ll have to do. You have support, someone is always there, day or night, to talk to you, to hold your hand if you need it. " John, Dad of Alum " The Rosewood Family Program is critical to Recovery. " Melissa " Rosewood changed my life around completely. Thank You Rosewood for giving me my hope back and teaching me how to believe in myself once again. " Allison " My life revolved around my eating disorder. I thought that nobody understood what I was going through and that nobody could help me... Rosewood was really life changing. " Kristin " 6 years ago Oct 21st, 2009, I was faced with death, not from my eating disorder, but from a brain injury caused by an abusive partner. I woke up after being in a coma 8 weeks and I was left with the loss of 3 years of memory from my life. You'd think after my fight to stay alive, the fight to be able to hold a fork or feed myself and the fight to live would be an obvious decision, but it wasn't. I stayed in my eating disorder for two more years. Sometimes it doesn't matter your circumstances to decide to live or die, you choose to either fight for yourself or you do not. Sometimes we are faced with a canyon of fear and we feel there is no other way. God could have taken me home, but he chose to let me live because I had more work to do. I just wanted to share this in hope that I can give some of you struggling with hope. I have so much faith that you can recover no matter the circumstances, but I also get it and understand it’s a choice you have to make because for so long it didn't matter what happened. I hung on to my ED as an identity and didn't know any other way. Sometimes I wonder why I remembered my eating disorder, but didn't remember healthy happy memories, but everyone has a journey and you are worth it and I believe everything happens for a reason. Don't give up before the miracle happens! Love you all and I'm here for support. " Hilary " Rosewood taught me to start to be grateful for the body I have. The body I have in no way makes me a bad person or someone underserving of love. Before Rosewood, I used the only coping skills I knew to deal with my self-hatred and self-loathing. It was the only way I knew how to make it through the day. I was in a primal survival mode, only I was both, perpetrator and prey. The only difference between me and people who are in jail, homeless, or even have died is seconds and inches. Rosewood taught me new skills and the ideas and concepts of self-love, self-acceptance, and self-care; how not to minimize or deflect the love others give. Embracing this as a gift and be humble enough to just say thank you. I deserve every bit of the love and kindness I receive and much, much more. Love myself the same way I love that Baby Hilly deep inside you. Show the same care and compassion that I show others who are struggling to myself. I went to Rosewood as someone who had all the outsides, but a look into my eyes showed a shallow interior. Almost as if I were a mirage because there was nothing beyond the 'things'. What Rosewood gave me isn't able to be gauged by monetary values. I was given the gift of living a life where I feel like I am worthy of living. That every day is exactly where I am supposed to be right now...just hold on for the ride, and take the time to enjoy the scenery. Thank you Rosewood! " Rachel " Sitting in the airport on my way home after three months at The Ranch/Capri and being able to reach out because my gate was right across from the sports bar, and instead of getting drunk, I ate dinner (like I promised Capri Jen that I would) It is eating a yogurt parfait from a coffee stand because you rocked the McDonald's outing and ate a parfait there. And hey, if you can do it at McDonald's, the Airport's coffee shop is a walk in the park! (Christine RD all the thanks go to you on this one) It's landing at your destination, not trashed, but completely sober, and seeing the man that you're in love with, with a rose he picked from his backyard, waiting for you at the gate. It's driving home to parents who love you, even though they "don't want you living in their house", welcome you with open arms (and open paws, and sloppy kisses, from all FIVE of the dogs) And, Recovery is, walking through the door of your house, to your fur child (in my case, a rescued Taiwanese Street Dog, who actually came from the streets of Taiwan, who was fearful and skittish, that I nourished into an amazing, healthy, happy dog) greet you with such joy that you know, that you KNOW that even though those past three months were the most painful, difficult, and terrifying things you ever did, THAT YOU KNOW it was all worth it. I may have been met with some difficulties at the end, I may have even gotten a few doctors or clinicians say "we understand if you need to come back" BUT hear me, THIS RIGHT HERE, IS RECOVERY. Rosewood, you done well. Thanks to everyone who stepped in and stepped up to help save my life. Because this is one good life worth living. " Tiffany " Wow I have a FULL year of recovery! WTF! I can't believe it! This time last year I was on my way to Rosewood Ranch Centers to start a long, even though I didn't know that at the time, journey ahead of me. When I first went to Rosewood I thought I would be there for 30 days at the most and then go back to school in Laramie, WY. Instead, I find myself living in Los Angeles, CA and not knowing what the next day will bring. I am so grateful that I have had the opportunity to go to treatment and get help. Doors I never knew existed are opening! It has NOT been easy. I have lost jobs, school, friendships/relationships, myself even, and the comfort of my ED. In return, I have received something even better- stronger friendships/relationships, happiness, and, more importantly, I'm finding out who I am. Recovery is the hardest thing I have done and I'm still working at it. Without recovery, I would have no future. Recovery keeps me alive! I could not have done it without the amazing people I have met and the awesome support of my family and friends back in WY and SD. Every single one of these people mean the world to me! Thank you for all that you have done. My hope is that others who are struggling with any mental illness/disease find the hope, strength, and inspiration to carry on with their lives in recovery. Every life is worth living! " Megan " This is the most amazing place. A true blessing for all of us fortunate enough to have received the care and treatment of a top notch rehabilitation center. I will forever will be in their gratitude for helping me get myself back and leaving ED in AZ. " Kaitlin " Had a blast at Capri! Made some of my closet friendships and learned a lot about myself and how to cope with an eating disorder in the real world. " Sam " Without this place God knows where I would've ended up. I don't think I can ever thank Rosewood for giving me the power to choose life. " Stacy " I miss this place…it was security and strength all in one. The staff was fair. They understood. Even if you didn’t, they did. Take the lessons. Live your life. Forever grateful. " Derek " Great place to start recovery and get the help you need. Recommend very highly. " Heather " 6 years ago I started a journey. I boarded a plane to Arizona and arrived at Rosewood . 6 years later I am sitting here in my cowboy boots and hat and ready for Dolly Parton. Life’s not perfect, nor is recovery, but I am loving life again… " Joy " This picture was taken on Mother's Day 2013. At this point, I had lost the power of choice in starving myself, purging via laxatives, using Percocet, and drinking. Today I am a different human being. Today I am a person being and not a person doing. My relationships have been healed and restored with people I never thought possible on this side of heaven. I cleared away the wreckage of my past and continue to do so. " Ariana " Hi, my name is Ariana and I’m 12 years old. Before my Mom went to Rosewood, she was sick and too thin. I didn't think she was ever coming back because ED was taking her away from me. She was gone for months and all I could feel was alone, sad, and tired. I missed my Mom. I needed her to get better. Once my mom returned home I was so happy. She was this baby bird that had grew her wings got bigger and became a hen. She has come a long way since being home. She is now the Mom I’ve always had, but never saw because ED consumed her. It was like a natural disaster that hit our family. Like a tornado. Rosewood has made a huge impact on not only my Mom’s life but mine as well. If it wasn't for Rosewood and Shannon, I'm not sure if my mom would be here. No one should be ashamed of who they are and should see the beauty within. Everyone is perfect just the way they are. Thank you Rosewood for allowing my mom to see herself through God's eyes. " Tracy " Rosewood was a place that accepted my husband. We were at the end of our rope because no one close to home accepted his illness as an eating disorder. From the time I initially called until the day he came home I knew he was so safe with them. They provided the best care and gave him knowledge on how to control your eating disorder. I will always be grateful to Rosewood! " Shea " I've been to several treatment centers all over the country, and Rosewood was definitely one of the best. They know what they are doing. They saved my life, more than once. " Jordan " Rosewood was a life-changing opportunity for me. A soul searching journey to find myself, to accept myself, and to love myself. Rosewood opened their doors to me and helped me to know that I could accept and love myself no matter who I am or who I love. I am beyond grateful and blessed for Rosewood and the hard work I did to be my TRUE SELF!!!! I am the one and only the legendary COUNTRY STRONG FOREVER & ALWAYS 🙂 Thank you so much to my Family, Friends, and the people I met at Rosewood for all their love and support <3 " Nikki " It's been 5 years since I left treatment at Rosewood. The 5 years before Rosewood held 13 hospital stays, countless lost friendships, an incredible amount of debt, missed opportunities, and wasted time. The 5 years after Rosewood have held a husband, 2 babies, a house, countless formed relationships, a home, a family, and a life. It's worth it. Every bite. Every tear. Every struggle. Every slip. And every step. It's all worth it. Laying here with my babies holding hands sleeping on my chest makes every second worth it. Keep fighting guys. Life is amazing. " Jenny " When I first entered Rosewood, I was very sick. Was simply existing and didn't have a life. Rosewood took great care of me and I am forever grateful for them. I've overcame some tough times while there and because of them (amongst others places as I wasn't done with treatment), I am able to live life and not just exist. This is me having a blast with LIFE!!!! " Jim " Skateboarding is something that I am very passionate about and have been for 24 years of my life. I have accomplished a lot through skateboarding and am very grateful. Having an eating disorder consumed me. Nearly losing my life to it forced me to give up skateboarding, which proves just how powerful the disease is. It was able to destroy my life and take away what means the most to me. I went through treatment and recovery at Rosewood amongst other treatment centers and was able to get my life back and start skateboarding again. I have found new direction in my life, changed my perspective and am able to accept myself more and focus on more important things. I have always used art, writing and being creative as a way to express myself along with skateboarding. These things helped me get through struggles with depression, shyness, insecurity, being self conscious among other things and now after recovery I have written and illustrated a published picture book called "The Boy Who Skated with Dragons." I never imagined that I would be able to do such amazing things and have the opportunity to share my talents and inspire others. I believe that everyone has such great talents and we are all capable of amazing things if we don't give up. Follow your dreams, have fun and do what makes you happy! " Liz " When I look at my newborn son, I'm in complete awe of all my body is capable of doing. It's hard to believe that the same body I hated, starved, and abused for so long grew, nourished, and gave birth to such a precious child. I have a new appreciation for my body; one founded in love rather than hatred. Living in recovery made this all possible. " Florence " This morning I did a fun running group. I tried it a few weeks ago and could tell my body was not ready. This morning exactly 3 months after leaving Rosewood my body proved to me that even after all I have put it through, it is amazing. I may have been last and no way near as fast as anyone else, but I'm so proud of my body and I appreciate it so much and I just want to let you all know how worth it recovery is, how happy I am, and how excited I am to be active again and I will not go overboard! Our bodies are incredible when we treat them with a little TLC. " Robert " Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Robert and I have suffered from Binge Eating Disorder for 30+ years. A few things I should mention before I go further are: The reason I have an addiction to food primarily stems from my mother whom when I was 3 years old would shove sandwiches under my bedroom door, when I wanted a hug, and then molested me when I was 4, and finally abandoned me shortly after. Food has always been a comfort for me in the moment, but it soon lets me down. I repeat this over and over because I think it is going to change and it never does. In December of 2013, I finally had enough and knew it was time to get some help. I checked in at Rosewood Center for Eating Disorders on December 18th, 2013. This was very frightening to me because I had never done anything like this before, and I knew I would die if I did not take this seriously. It was about a month before I was ready to come home and during a therapy session another person said, “We are all going to relapse”, and I remember how angry I was, and I said, “Not Me”. The therapist approached me and mentioned how worried they were that I said that. I said again, “I am not going to relapse”. She mentioned that overconfidence will put you right back where you were, and I thought impossible I have all of this knowledge and I just accepted Jesus in my life there is no way. Well I am here to tell you she was right. I came home and I managed to stay on my meal plan for 5 months, and the overconfidence struck, and hit me like a brick wall. The stronger I got in my faith, the harder the enemy works to knock you down, and that is what he did. Here is the important part, dust yourself off, and get back up immediately, don’t use it as an excuse to continue to stay down. I have been working very hard to figure out my addiction and my codependency, and I believe I have discovered a way. Before I let you go I would like to share a scripture with you that helps me every day. Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength”. Remember one thing that was stressed during treatment, we cannot do this alone. Surround yourself with positive people (no drama), and get Jesus in your life. If we do these things we will succeed. " Alicia " I came to Rosewood after very serious relapse in my recovery from my eating disorder. They helped me to see what I was still holding onto so tightly that was keeping me sick and helped me navigate my way through recovery. Prior to going to Rosewood I had been in and out of multiple inpatient, residential, PHP, IOP and outpatient programs. I already had the knowledge, but Rosewood did more than just educate me on the skills. They helped me put them to practice in my everyday life. That was key for me! Their alumni program has been a huge support in my recovery as well. Staying connected after I left and building that connection with other alumni has been amazing and a huge asset to my recovery! " Andrew " Five years ago I was diagnosed with Anorexia Nervosa, a powerful and cunning illness that robs one of their life and relationships. Like many, my Eating Disorder started in high school after a rather terrible bout of bullying about my weight. Upon graduating from high school, my eating disorder and alcoholism became even more uncontrollable, and my education and personal relationships suffered as well as my health. During the course of this time I was hospitalized and told that if, my potassium and sodium levels didn’t hold, I would die within the hour. It was after this hospital scare that I decided that I needed treatment no matter what the cost and it’s because of Rosewood giving me the tools to my recovery that I am here today. Unfortunately I didn’t stay in recovery after leaving Rosewood. I tail spun into a very deep relapse that lasted almost a year. It was not until I decided to truly use the tools that Rosewood gave me that I entered a lasting and truthful recovery. To this day I have been in recovery and sober for 1 year 8 months. Even though there are days that are hard, I can say that recovery has been the greatest thing that has happened to me. This past year and eight months has brought so many good things. I am about to graduate with my Bachelors in Community, Family, and Addiction Sciences. I am about to be engaged and am applying to graduate school this spring at Texas Tech University for their Marriage and Family Therapy program. Without Recovery none of this would be possible. I thank Rosewood every day for teaching me the tools to own my recovery. " Angie " I'm sitting here in aww right now. My daughter came and gave me a hug and said "Mom I'm so proud of you!" For what I asked? "For fighting and not giving up. It means the world to me, mom. I love you!" Those words just melt my heart and make my fight each day easier and easier. My kids are my life and I could not imagine my life without them. Recovery is amazing. " Haley " Capri was the first place I felt like recovery was possible. I learned the skills I had been missing and the staff was amazing and supportive. I feel I have a realistic view of recovery now, as opposed to the pressure to be perfect I felt coming out of previous treatments. I felt like I belonged at Rosewood, and they understood me, as opposed to previous placements. I'm still early in recovery (only been out of Rosewood a few months) but I have hope for the first time in years. " Lizzie " Two years ago, today, I flew home from Rosewood; I was terrified, convinced that I would continue on this revolving door in and out of treatment centers. I had heard stories of hope – you know the ones I’m talking about; men and woman who were once knocking on death’s door now living in recovery. I loved those stories, but was adamant that I would never experience my own victory; I was chronically eating disordered. Now, two years later, it is with tears in my eyes that I can say that I am free. I have a job. I have friends. I am a doggie mommy. I am pursuing a Master’s in Social Work (yes, to be a therapist!). I have life. There was no magical cure. My recovery required persistence, passion, and an amazing treatment team. I am still not 100% there, but I believe that one day I will fully recover. I believe that there will be a day where relationships and experiences are exponentially more important than mirrors and numbers. Recovery is hard work. It is, undoubtedly, the most difficult thing I have ever done. However, it is also my proudest accomplishment and my greatest gift. I have done the very thing I thought I could not do: I found freedom. " Ryan " August 5, 2011 is a date I will always remember. That is the day I drove my wife to Rosewood and forever changed, not just her life, but multiple other lives as well. Even though her stay was just 30 days, the things she learned about herself and about ED, the support she received, and the time we both spent working on things during Family Week, have led to a much stronger woman, wife, and mother. Although she still struggles occasionally, she no longer hides from ED, but rather confronts it head on. Her openness about her struggles has allowed other people with similar issues to open up to her in ways that have led to healing. I truly believe that without the grace of our Lord in Heaven, and the staff at Rosewood being placed in our lives at such a pivotal point, my wife might not be here today. We have 3 beautiful children to prove that recovery is possible. I owe so much to Rosewood for taking care of my wife that a mere “thank you” doesn’t seem enough. Rosewood has not only led to a healthier life for my wife, but the tally of lives that my wife has been able to touch as a result of her time there is increasing daily. God bless what you do every day! " Patty " Rosewood brought hope, love, compassion, empathy and knowledge into our lives as we struggled to deal with our granddaughter's/daughter's Eating Disorder. Family Week is a must because it opens the door and helps each family understand not only what is going on today, what to expect tomorrow and then gives hope for the future. Everyone affiliated with Rosewood was kind, patient and professional in such a caring way. May God Bless the professional staff that seem to be available at all hours, and who, within 24 hours, returned phone calls and emails. Thank you for not sugar coating the recovery process, but at the same time, giving us each the hope and determination to move forward! " Kelli " I lived in fear for over 25 years, rejected happiness, loathed attention, sought every self-destructive "ism", and believed that I deserved to die a long, slow, self-induced death. I believed that ED was my life and that it would always be a dark, lonely path, and the only activity I took pleasure in was the daily cycle of self-destruction. ED convinced me that the world, including my now 18 year old son would be better off without me, I accepted my fate & prepared myself for the end, until the morning of September 19th, 2012, I looked at myself in the mirror and said, "Please God, I don't want to die, but I don't know any other way to live, I surrender. " Two weeks later I was admitting myself to the Ranch, for my second round of inpatient. After being a frequent flyer within the Rosewood system for almost five years, I learned another way to live. Rosewood taught me that it was okay to love myself, it was okay to feel emotions, it was okay to not be perfect, it was okay to forgive myself, it was okay to let go, it was okay to ask for help, it was okay just to be me. After living with ED for so long I had no idea who "me" was, I was scared to live outside of my eating disorder, because who was I without him? It has been over a year since I left Tempe IOP, and almost three since I left Wickenburg, while my recovery has not been perfect, it has been mine, I feared being happy, I was convinced I was undeserving of anyone's love, I thought living in recovery was too hard, I thought of myself as Kelli, the bulimic, the anorexic....today, I think of myself as just Kelli, no labels, no shame, no guilt. I love who I am, who I have become through this process and I would not be here today if it wasn't for the Rosewood staff and the lifelong friends I made. I am 37 years old and have been given an amazing opportunity to start my life again, to do it the way I want, not for anyone else, not for ED, only for me. I have an appreciation for life, for my family, my friends, and for myself. And for the first time in my life I can honestly say, I love my body and it loves me, because it hung in there for over two decades while I did nothing but try and destroy it, my body fought for me, now I fight for it, I fight for me. Find Your Voice. Use Your Words. Speak Your Truth. " Lauren " I grew up with parents that only wanted the best for my siblings and me. I competed with my siblings in many ways, to try to be as good as they were. I wanted my parents to be proud of me, and to love me. I knew they loved me, but I knew I could be better than I was. I was then on a "mission." I grew up being depressed, but it became worse in middle school. All the constant comparing, and popularity competitions between friends made it hard for me. I managed to push through to high school. When the summer before my sophomore year came along things got worse for me. I had urges that I had not had before. I had found unhealthy ways to cope with my anxiety and depression. I was slowly destroying my mind and body. Despite how hard things were during that time, somehow it made me feel better. It didn't take long for my parents to catch on and they sent me to therapy. My therapist said I needed a higher level of treatment, but my parents were tentative to send me to inpatient, so they found Rosewood's outpatient center. Like my therapist thought, this was not a high enough level of care for me, so I went to Rosewood's inpatient program. Here I met people just like me who were struggling with the same things. My heart hurt for them, but at the same time there was a sense of comfort. I became very close to the other patients, and I finally began to surrender. Being vegan before going to inpatient made being inpatient even more difficult. It was a battle every day, but I fought. I fought for myself and my family. After inpatient, I went back to outpatient for about 4 months. I can't even begin to explain the amount of support I received from my treatment team and other patients. I wouldn't have been able to do it without them. To this day, I'm happier than I've ever been. I am a sophomore in college at ASU. I am still close to the beautiful people I met in treatment, and I'm thankful for them every day. I'm also thankful for the Rosewood alumni coordinator, Shannon. We are able to speak to schools to share our stories and to spread hope and awareness. I'm so thankful for Rosewood and all that they have done for me. They saved my life, and for that I will be forever thankful. " Delacy " After careful consideration, I decided not to have shame over this part of my life and to let family and friends know what I have been doing over the past year. This past year I have been at Rosewood Ranch Centers in their intensive outpatient program. I have struggled for 10 years with a debilitating eating disorder. Monday, is my last day at that group. I have made so much progress in the last year and am proud of how far I have come. Recovery from an eating disorder is a long process, so my recovery does not end here. It’s an everyday thing I work at and have to overcome. I will still continue outpatient therapy and seeing a dietician. Many people post personal matters like this for attention. But, I do not wish to have attention, but to let friends and family know so I can have your support. With support all around me, recovery becomes easier. And for all of those struggling and afraid to ask for help, I will say that it is difficult to reach out at first, but going to Rosewood literally saved my life. I wouldn't be here and be the person I am today if it wasn't for them. If you need support, someone to talk to, reach out. To a friend, family member, any loved one, or even better a therapist. Hope and help is here for you. Thank you for all those who have been such a great support for me. I couldn't have gotten this far without you. " Max " I just wanted to acknowledge how much Rosewood changed my life. Almost 3 years ago (wow it’s been that long??!) I CRAWLED into Rosewood Ranch TERRIFIED of all things food, with the nastiest heroin/cocaine/alcohol/benzo addiction---skin and bones on death’s door. I was hopeless and passing out on a nightly basis hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning. It hasn't been easy, but I can for the first time in YEARS say I am ED behavior FREE!!! My relationship with food is a 180 degree difference. Not only do I value my nutrition, I ENJOY it. Breaking news...Food is ESSENTIAL. LOL. I work VERY hard every day at the gym and in life, and without proper nutrition I would not be where I am today. Thank you Shannon SO SO much for everything you did for me. I literally owe you and the rest of Rosewood my LIFE. " Alisha " They’ve made me feel loved like they truly care and they’re not just there because it’s their job, but because they want to be there and they want to help you. They’ve given me a place where I know I can go back if I ever need help again. " Brea " I entered Rosewood in Wickenburg at the age of 17. I was petrified at the thought of being in a mental facility. But I was consumed with thoughts of self-hatred. To take out the pain I carried for years because of my background I used my self-image. I was killing myself. Physically and mentally. Rosewood challenged me. They helped me see reality instead of living in my mind. I started to slowly love who I am and who I will be. I would not be alive without my team and friends at Rosewood. I chose to work with them instead of on my own. Because of my decisions I am stronger now than ever before. I am proudly in recovery. But it wasn't easy. It still isn't easy. But I wake up with the mindset of never giving up. I fight. Only you can make a difference in your life. Surround yourself with good people, good habits and understand that ED is an every day battle. Rosewood is the place for your son, daughter, wife, brother, father, or friend. If they are struggling and are at their last straw, save their life and get them in here. Rosewood is family orientated. It helps you learn why we do what we do and what you can do to help. " Ariel " Do you see that girl on the left? She’s around eleven years old and extremely insecure. She has been teased, called fat, ugly, pale, and deemed unworthy of attention … And she believes it. Little do her tormentors know she is already battling an eating disorder, depression, abuse, self-harm, and is suicidal. She cries when she’s alone not understanding why she can’t be like her beautiful friends. The ones the boys flirt with and don’t call names. I wish I could save this little girl. I wish I could tell her, promise her, it will all get better. That people can be cruel and break us down, because they feel empty inside too. People are hurtful because they’re afraid and want to fit in too. Doesn’t mean it won’t hurt when it’s aimed at you, but you will grow stronger with time. I wish I could protect this little girl from herself and from the evil world who will try to destroy her. She will survive; the bullying, overdoses/drugs/alcohol, suicide attempts, sexual abuse, physical abuse, her eating disorder and life. She has seen the darkness and she will see light. She will be loved and she will fight like hell to find the peace she has been looking for all her life. That little girl is me, and I am her. I am nowhere near free from my past and the pain I’ve endured, but I am alive. I am taking it one day at a time. I am sober. I am recovering. And I will share my story to let others know they’re not alone. Life is worth living, I promise. " Amber " Before Rosewood, I had lost myself in my professional identity as a nurse. As a nurse, I am compassionate, empathetic, precise, flexible, and an advocate for my patients. Somewhere in life, I felt that I was not worthy of caring for myself the way I care for my patients and abused my body with an eating disorder, drugs, and self-harm. My time at Rosewood allowed me to be a patient and realize that I too have needs that are just as important and valid as the patients I care for. Thanks to my time at Rosewood, I was able to get back on track with a solid recovery! I am just as worthy as the concern and love that I put into my patients every day. " Bekah " Before I entered Rosewood, I didn’t know who I was without my anorexia. I thought I was just an "anorexic girl." A girl who could never reach any of her dreams because she wasn't good enough to do so. Rosewood helped me discover who I am besides an eating disorder. I started following my dreams of helping people through music like it has helped me and even had an opportunity to audition for the “The Voice”. I am no longer the sick girl. I am a girl with a powerful voice that can be used to help others. " Erin " When I started my third treatment stint at Rosewood, I was completely blinded by darkness. I only saw my life swallowed up by depression, failure, binging, purging, isolation and the most debilitating hopelessness that kept me locked in a mental prison. Looking back, I can't remember what even brought me to treatment other than desperation. But nine months of residential/PHP/IOP saved my life. I used to joke that I could have had a baby with the time & expense of treatment. But I really did give birth to a new life. I have seen the most surprising transformation in myself. I really showed up for myself, especially after treatment. When shit hits the fan, I continue reach out. I don't abuse myself with food. When I'm dealing with the consequences of being disordered for over 20 years and want to shut down or throw in the towel, I tell my therapist and dietician. Because secrets keep me sick & I don't want to live in shame. I see myself, flaws and all. I see all the beauty, too. I can't remember the last time I freaked out over clothes not fitting. Not because that hasn't happened, but because I talk myself through it with compassion. If I want a burger, I eat a burger. Recently, a friend asked me if I planned to work out more because I had party food as a baby shower. I happily told her, "No. My body knows what to do with this food." I really have built trust with myself, my body, and loved ones. When I indulge, there's no guilt or shame. It fits in my meal & exercise plan. End of story. And even if it doesn't, it's one meal on one day out of 365 in a year. My body knows what to do. So yes, I have days or even stretches of days when I unfortunately feel like my old self. But I work through that because I know succumbing to those feelings or urges ends in death. I'm not being dramatic. Anyone who's lived through it knows that to be true. But most days I feel peace, freedom, hope, love and acceptance of both my body and of my life's path. People said this day would come. Women who'd walked this recovery road while I moved about numbing myself in mostly a self-made hell. Therapists who saw the faintest spark of a really strong, beautiful and talented woman who just needed the time and space to cultivate enough self-love, care and respect to really live with awareness and intention. They all said this day would come and I thank God I lived through the worst of it and came out of the other side with the willingness to find reasons to keep smiling and laughing and loving. Tomorrow, I'm starting a TESOL program at NC State to teach English abroad. It's the first time I've made plans for my future since I dropped out of law school eight years ago. I had been too afraid I would relapse or fail to ever go back to school. In some respects, it's not a big deal. And yet, I also know it's everything. There's no bigger deal than a woman empowering herself, taking control of her life, and fulfilling life goals that have nothing to do with weight, size, or body. Going back to school represents my hope and bravery and conviction that no matter what -- I am stronger than my eating disorder. " Suzanne " Today after running into an old friend who excitingly couldn't stop commenting on how healthy and wonderful I looked, I am reminded of how grateful I am. And to know she was right is an incredible feeling. After traveling across the country to Rosewood 4.5 years ago dead inside, I AM healthy and happy and living life to the fullest! Rosewood helped me find the life I never thought possible but also the friends and family I've never had. I have fought extremely hard to get where I am today and I couldn't be happier. My daughter now has someone to look up to and someone who is present there with her, rather than the absent withdrawn Mom I was before. I am no longer weighed down and ruled by the fear because day in and day out I prove to myself to be stronger than most. I will be forever grateful to Rosewood and those who took the time to help me see the amazing and determined woman I am today! " Candace " It has been a 25 year battle with my eating disorder. I swore I would die before I turned 30. I was convinced I would never have children. I was satisfied with always feeling dizzy and fatigued. Then one day my life changed. Recovery happened...God happened. I was baptized anew. I am now married, have three healthy children and actually have hobbies. I still enjoy my reality TV and playing with my kids, but I have also taken up training for a marathon. I could never have done this without my focus on recovery. I now use running has a time to meditate on God and to release stress. I have been three times triple blessed. Rosewood had a big part in my recovery. I had been in a few treatment programs prior to rosewood. Each one was a piece to my puzzle. I now can say I am "in recovery". Each day I am giving the blessing of waking up and see my children love me for who I truly am. Just plain ole me!! Their momma. " Karen " Rosewood has done nothing short of save my life. Although it took three times through treatment at this facility for recovery to click with me, I am finally able to look back on all my years of struggles and know that although there will always be struggles in life, I will never be alone. Rosewood has given me the tools and continues to stand by me as I live my life with renewed hope. " Crystal " Not just any treatment center...But one encompassed with love, care and compassion. Teaching women and men to reclaim their lives back from the deadly grips of "ED" which is a name known to many, their eating disorders. Thank you for teaching me to fight, helping me understand who I am without Ed and helping me find the deep seated roots that made "Ed" seem so appealing. Thanks for equipping me with the tools to survive the outside world and never giving up on me. " Rachel " RECOVERY IS AMAZING!!! I am en route back to the USA from one of the most incredible experiences of my entire life. While I was here, I kept getting notifications of “on this day…” from Facebook. I was at Rosewood Ranch exactly 5 years ago and it’s soooooo amazing to see how far I’ve come. Back then, spending a month in South Africa would’ve been something I never even dreamed I could do. I’ve been so far out of my comfort zone. I can’t believe it. Recovery can be hard sometimes, but there is no way I would ever have done this in my eating disorder back then. Recovery is a beautiful thing. " Sofia " Rosewood gave me hope when I wasn’t sure recovery was impossible. I learned how to love again. I learned how much a person can truly eat in a day and how the world doesn't end. I learned how to mend the wounds I've created within my family and myself. One year after Rosewood, I am loving what I thought was impossible. " Beau " Celebrating six years is a huge success. Though my time at Rosewood was extremely painful for me emotionally and physically, I regained the man that I never thought I could be. My eating disorder was my salvation and my very best friend. ED gave me the power of fully numbing myself and all that was around me. My eating disorder robbed me of 23 years of my life. Since 2010 I have learned communication, self-love, respect for my body & knowing that I am perfectly imperfect. My new life is stable. I am ground and my faith has prevailed me through more tragic events that only knowing my tools I learned from Rosewood allowed me to be me in the moment and allowing myself to feel. Recovery is my life motto. I know that no road is easy, however I am okay. I am okay with being me, I have healed & I choose recovery. " Winter " Three is my favorite number. In nine days, I will celebrate three years out of Rosewood. It took 3 tries, but since then my life has completely changed. I finished my undergrad and moved to Arizona and got my dream job as a BHT AT Rosewood. Now I am in my second year of Grad School and could not be more grateful for being given a second...and third chance. Don’t give up...you never know what can be right over the horizon " Clare " Before entering Rosewood, I was in complete denial about my eating disorder. I had lived with dysfunction and depression for 34 years, thinking that was just the way my life was. Little did I know how maladapted my behaviors and thoughts were surrounding food. It turned out that my life was controlled by a disease I thought I had left behind. At Rosewood, I discovered who I really am and what I am capable of. ED had dictated everything in my life prior to this. Today I get to live a life I love and food is a positive part of that. I have gained in confidence and self-esteem, something I had always lacked. Rosewood saved my life and gave me hope. I couldn't have gotten where I am today without the amazing support and love of everyone there and the new friends I made while in treatment. " Ashley " I stayed because it was the best place for me to spend the holidays the way they are supposed to be spent—with people who love and care about you. People who want you to succeed and will love you until you love yourself. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a “good holiday.” I spent holidays in and out of medical hospitals, psych hospitals, and so high I didn’t even know it was a holiday. I wanted to spend the holidays with my family of choice and I was lucky enough to have the chance to do so. I also got to meet other people’s families and was so fortunate to be included in their holiday as well. Even though I was a thousand miles away from my cat, I was right where I needed to be—holiday or not. While I’m not an advocate of going to treatment with a closed mind (I will not get better, no one understands, no one can possibly help me), I do think that it is worthwhile to get help if even the SMALLEST part of you can recognize that living with an eating disorder is no way to live. Getting help early can mean the possibility of not having to live with long term medical and psychological problems that are side effects of the ED. Also, people don’t always recover on the first try. I would suggest to anyone to take the chance for treatment while you have it. You never know when it’s going to be too late—when treatment won’t be an option any longer, or when your body gives out because it can’t take another day of torture. Why not get help during the holiday season? I have never heard anyone who is active in their ED talk about how much they enjoyed the holidays! Also, think of your family. Gathered around the table, watching you slowly kill yourself when there is the option to get help available to you. You may think “waiting three more days won’t hurt.” You may be right, but you may be wrong. Your ED doesn’t discriminate between holidays and non-holidays. It is an equal opportunity killer. Missing one Christmas at home is a small price to pay for your future. You won’t be missing the holidays, just spending them with a different family. Don’t make excuses—go. " Rebecca " Best treatment center I've been to! I was there in 2012 for 4 months and I entered very sick and with the help of my amazing treatment team that I had there I started to live again and not be so afraid all of the time. I started enjoying food again (now I love it!) and I recognized why I had my eating disorder and I actually opened up to them because I felt safe. Very good healing environment and I felt like I got the help that I needed! I recommend Rosewood to everyone who is struggling with an eating disorder, especially if you are also struggling with other things as well such as trauma and anxiety. Rosewood staff know how to help you and will be there for you 100% along your journey!!! " Cassie " At Rosewood I reclaimed my health, my strength, my vitality, and my voice. I learned to honor my body's needs and respect my emotions. I faced my fears every day surrounded by supportive friends and staff, until I was able to face them on my own. I am now enjoying my family, my career, and my hobbies in ways I never could when I was mired in my disorder. I am grateful every day for the gifts I received and the lessons I learned at Rosewood. " Kelli " I never thought I would survive, let alone recover from my eating disorder and live the life of freedom that I do today. Rosewood was my final treatment center- the staff and my peers helped me find the tools to save my own life. And I did. I went from a death sentence to a life so full and vibrant today that it often brings me to tears of gratitude. Since my time at Rosewood I finished college, obtained a Masters degree, built loving and satisfying relationships and I have learned to truly cherish myself. I can honestly say I love my body, I love my life and I love myself. Not a day goes by where I don't think about how grateful I am for freedom. I am happy, I am healthy and I am free. I fought hard and I won. Complete freedom is possible because it is my everyday life. " Matt " When I first developed my eating disorder, my parents didn’t know what to do, but after doing some extensive research they found Rosewood! I remember my first night like it was yesterday. The night was a cold and windy December night. Walking to the administration office, I was met by two Rosewood staff who warmly welcomed me to the center. After being admitted, the nurse took my vitals and told me that I was very courageous for deciding to come to choose recovery. During my two months at Rosewood, I learned not only that recovery is possible, but that I wasn’t alone, especially with the great support from the staff and my peers. Even after I left Rosewood, they always checked up on me. Four years later, I can look at all the success in my life and credit Rosewood for more than half of it. I would highly recommend Rosewood to anyone wanting to finally get rid of your eating disorder, not only because they help you fight ED, but also because they make you a stronger more confident person! " Dena " 38 years is a very long time to be sick. Compulsive eating, binge eating, bulimia, anorexia, compulsive exercise, addiction to caffeine and "natural" stimulants- it never got better and it never went away. Until January 9, 2011. At 38 years old, this Stay at Home Mom of four littles sacrificed all, her ultimate control, for the possibility of change. This is where Rosewood did what I could not do for myself, they lead me to health, stability and sanity. Five weeks inpatient, five weeks partial outpatient, and five months intensive outpatient treatment later, I began to walk in recovery- but not alone. To this day, Rosewood continues to provide my support and my direction. Five and a half years in recovery and I continue to be challenged, to learn and to grow, but I no longer have to do it my way. Rosewood continues to be my dietary support, my accountability support, my peer support, and my source of advocacy, as I now have the opportunity to share my experience with others, so they won't have to live a life of shame, guilt and regret in darkness, or alone. Rosewood was, and continues to be, my light. And I am honored and proud, as a result of their commitment to health, to share the light of recovery with others. " Casey " Rosewood isn't just a treatment center to me, it's a family. Rosewood has changed my entire life for the better when no other treatment center could. When I gave up on myself Rosewood was there to show me the way. Recovery is a hard long journey and it doesn't stop when you get out treatment. The alumni program continues to inspire me and keep me going when I feel I can't go much further. I am so blessed and eternally grateful to had found rosewood. I would recommend this treatment center to anyone who is struggling and in need of help. " Rob " Almost 14 years ago, I met the person I thought I'd spend the rest of my life with. But ED had different plans. After the first 12 years in and out of treatment center after treatment center, I felt like there was no help. This monster looking back in the mirror was this demon that sucks on the beauty of life! It had such a hold on my wife and our life! A short time later my wife found Rosewood Ranch and they did something in her life that I didn't think was possible. She finally realized she was beautiful! The person staring back at her in the mirror was now a reflection of the strong amazing loving mother/wife we searched for forever! It's been a few years now and I owe the best part of me "my wife" to Rosewood and the amazing support structure they have within! Thank you Rosewood for saving not just my wife, but our whole family! " Kendal " I went to Rosewood back in October of 2015 for Bulimia Nervosa. I was in inpatient for 33 days and discharged in November. I can say that I’m very happy that I went to Rosewood for treatment. Before I went to Rosewood, I had told a lie that I had been holding in for about 3 years. While in treatment, I came out about that lie simply because I had constant guilt. I was starting to become very depressed and lonely because no one knew the truth about me. I realized what had been keeping me from telling the truth. I took the time to get to know people and to get to know what it’s like to be in recovery. It’s been a very long and painful ride, and it’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. I have met some of the most loving and caring people in treatment. People that have supported me since day one. They are a big influence in my recovery. I’m still learning how to cope and to love myself. I’m learning that the things in my past do not define who I am today. I am very proud of the person I have become and the things I have been able to come out about. I’m very thankful that Rosewood was there for me. Now I can live my life and do the things I love to do. " Michelle " Life is amazing when I'm not caught up in my eating disorder. Rosewood gave me the chance I needed at a real life after several years spent in other treatment centers. I am forever grateful for how much I was loved, treated with compassion and had a caring staff that really believed in me---saying I could achieve recovery when I wasn't sure I could be free at all. I love the parts of my life now that I never imagined could occur. I have a place to live on my own. I am able to work a job again at an amazing place. I have a family who trusts in me now and have a sweetheart of a boyfriend who treats me like a princess. Life is so worth the struggle. Life is so precious. Life is finally mine again and I'm in love with it. " Tatiana " A few years ago, I checked into Rosewood. Really sick. So depressed. I already felt dead. Love, happiness, family. None of that seemed worth anything to me. It just seemed like work. Opening my eyes in the morning was work. And the work wasn’t worth it to me. Every relationship in my life seemed ruined. I had no job. I dropped out of school. I had no direction and no motivation. I didn’t want to do anything with myself. All I wanted to do was sleep. Escape. Disappear. The world seemed hard, scary, and unforgiving. I hated myself. I hated everyone around me. I hated life. There was no point, no reason to continue. Despite my best efforts, I was graciously handed the help I needed at the time from everyone at the Ranch. And anyone who met me at Rosewood knows that I was NOT open to the experience. I fought it tooth and nail the entire time. And yet, they still helped me. (If I could go back, I would tell everyone around me the same things I was told over & over. Be open, everyone is there to help, and TRUST). Today? Today I am HAPPY. I graduated with a degree. I am in a Masters program. I have a great job that I adore. I also teach yoga. I am in love with a man I’m going to marry. I have mended every relationship within my family. I wake up in the morning and count my blessings, excited for what the day will give. The future is bright. My life is filled with light. Yes, I have down days. I am depressive at times. Sometimes I listen to the vicious things ED tells me to do. I have bad body image days. I get down on myself. BUT, I forgive myself. I shake it off. I know I have overcome before, and I will again. I keep my face toward the light and know the future has beautiful things in store. I know that I am in exactly the right place, doing exactly what I should do. Every experience is valuable in its’ own way. Don’t lose hope. Life is up. Life is down. It all comes around. Things always, always get better. The nature of reality is maintain balance, so know that for every low point that you experience there will always be an equal and opposite high point. " Brooke " Next Friday marks nine years in recovery for me. Nine years since I chose life. Nine years ago I admitted myself into Rosewood’s care… Nine years ago I was dying. I had both feet in the grave, barely hanging onto life by my fingertips. The day before Thanksgiving, at what had become my regular daily visit to my medical doctor, she informed me of my choices: seek inpatient treatment at an eating disorder facility or a hospital. I was there with my husband. He was crying. I could not have cared any less. I was numb. Hiding my pain and holding onto my ED like a life preserver (ironic really). She gave me until the day after Thanksgiving to decide. I knew that if I went to the hospital, I wouldn’t get better. Physically—maybe, but it would just continue to cycle back mentally and emotionally. I mainly chose to go to Rosewood to appease my doctor and my family, but underneath I had some sliver of hope that maybe I didn’t have to live out my remaining days stuck in my own personal hell. What kept me there though was me. After I got to Rosewood and was forced to eat, and in turn face so many of the emotions and trauma I had been keeping at bay, I realized that I had no idea who I was. I realized I wasn’t just not putting myself first…I wasn’t even on my own list. You see, I didn’t love myself. So, I stayed. Through Christmas. Through New Years. Even through my husband’s birthday. Because I knew that if I couldn’t learn to love myself or put my own needs first, I would have no life to return to. I’m sure I could’ve gone home and sought treatment again at another time, or even just delayed my treatment through the holidays, but the short amount of time I stayed (~70 days) forever changed me. Who’s to say how much more of my life would’ve been robbed from me had I left. I’ve had three healthy (miracle) children in my recovery. Who knows if I would’ve been able to have stayed in my ED longer. Who knows if I would have been able to share my story (numerous times) and help those still struggling. Who knows if I would even be alive. My point is this: I gave up my holidays for one year and in return I gained much more than I ever could have imagined. AND, I would gladly do it again, knowing what I know now. I am enough. Worthy enough to put my own recovery first, and so are you. " Anna " Today was my first day back as a full-time student since medically withdrawing in March of last year to go to the Ranch. I am so grateful to Rosewood and everyone I met through this journey who has helped me get my life back together. Taking that time off to treat my eating disorder was absolutely necessary and one of the best things I’ve ever done, and I feel like today I proved to myself it was all worth it. I wasn’t truly moving forward in life when I was sick… Sure, I was going to class, but I was too deep in my disorder to get much out of it. Now, I am back as a stronger, healthier, and more insightful person. I’m not perfect, but I don’t have to be. I’m taking 15 credit hours this semester, which is the most I’ve ever taken, so I know it will be tough and stressful at times. But I also know that I have people I can go to for support if and when I need it, and tools I can use to help myself. I will not let shame or fear of failure stop me from reaching out if I do find that I am struggling again (I’m not invincible, and that’s okay). For now, though, I will take life one day at a time. I’ve put in a lot of good work to get to this point, and I’m proud of that. And, as always, very grateful and blessed. " Danielle " There were a couple turning points in my recovery. First, making the conscious decision every day that I didn’t want to live my life as I had been – unhappy, unfulfilled, unhappy. At a certain point, I was willing to try anything to live a different life even though it terrifies me. ANJ (now Rosewood Santa Monica) was the beginning of that journey….Nothing could be worse than the way I was already living. In treatment, I began to create my identity outside of my eating disorder. I tested out how it felt to voice my thoughts, feelings and desires. I spoke up without being spoken to first. I realized I had a sense of humor. Being stripped of my eating disorder was the scariest thing I’ve ever done, but it brought on some of the most fulfilling relationships into my life. My own voice is now louder than my eating disorder. I identify myself with so many things unrelated to my appearance and weight. And those are the things I’ll remember and cherish at the end of my life, not some number or pleasing my mental illness. " Jess " If I could only say one sentence about my experience at Rosewood Santa Monica, it would be that Rosewood saved my life. Rosewood provided me with a safe and healing space where recovery was possible. The support that I received from the staff and my peers gave me the strength to expand my toolbox of coping skills that helps me fight my disorder every day. The groups helped me to really look inside of myself and face my demons that I hadn’t been able to do before Rosewood. One of the staff at Rosewood always told me, “It is so much better on the other side”. When she said “the other side”, she meant a life in recovery. I have only been out of Rosewood for four months and I can say this from the bottom of my soul, life is beautiful and is something that should be rejoiced and enjoyed. I do enjoy my life, and thanks to the support of Rosewood, and more importantly the dedication I have to my recovery I can say that I love life, and I love myself. My time at Rosewood was not easy, in fact, it was probably the most difficult thing that I have experienced in my life, but it was worth every minute. I will forever be grateful to this program. " Kat " It is hard to believe that it has been 8 years since my life changing journey to Rosewood. I've since kicked my drug addiction to pills and began living as a Survivor. Totally grateful for everyone along the way. Just after Christmas, my daughter, best friend and I came across this sign. I don't like sharing pictures of myself, but this seems too perfect not to share. So in sharing, it is also a victory for me. God Bless and keep fighting---the other side is amazing. " Kate " I wanted to share with you all that I am 14 weeks pregnant. Our first baby is due in June and we are beyond over the moon. I never could have gotten to this beautiful place in my life without Rosewood. I thought my life was over so, so many times. I came to Rosewood broken. I continued to break time and time again while there. Each and every time the staff and my peers fought for me, lifted me back up, got me the care that I needed, believed in me, loved me, and helped me move forward again. It still blows my mind that I’ve been able to go from being that broken girl, to this healthy, happy, in love, momma-to-be. It seems unreal. I have dreamt of being a mom my whole entire life. To say that I am so beside myself with joy, gratitude and excitement is the biggest understatement. I was born to do this. I am so, SO grateful to each and every one of you that have been a part of my journey along the way. Thank you so much for your love, support and guidance. I never thought this was possible. " Emily " I never thought I would have the ability to carry a child. I never thought I would know what it would be like to have the ability to create a life inside me. This is one miracle that I never dreamed would happen. Recovery has many gifts. Recovery has many opportunities. Recovery itself is a miracle. Thinking about what recovery means to me brings tears to my eyes. The once hopeless soul who wanted to end things. Now, I have the opportunity to create a new life and have new beginnings. And that's just what recovery is. New gifts. New opportunities. New beginnings. No matter what, recovery really IS worth it. " K.K. " I am alive today because Rosewood continue to hold onto my hope when I couldn't hope for myself. The staff walked with me until they knew I had the tools to safely handle life out there with the rest of society and way from inpatient treatment. Thank You, Rosewood. " Samantha " Before I went to Rosewood, I barely left my bed for 2 years straight. I was practically dead and now I'm completely alive. I still struggle sometimes, but that's part of this amazing journey. Rosewood was the best thing I've ever done for myself. I'm so grateful to everyone at Rosewood. Thank you so much! " Aimee " My time at Rosewood was only a small fraction of my life, but in that time, I grew in ways I never thought possible. I am grateful every day to the people who stood by me every step of the way. I hope that everyone struggling reached out for support and help. I have been in the storm and know that it takes an army to fetch yourself out. Don't do it alone. " Blair " Rosewood and treatment in general was something I was insanely skeptical about. I thought an eating disorder was just a way of life for some people. I figured once you have it, you are stuck with it. I would say real progress started happening when I stopped thinking I knew more than my dieticians and started listening to them and listening to my body and reminding myself I want a full life. I started opening up with my friends and family. I started to see how they all wanted more for me too and I was letting this disease take what it wanted from me. Rosewood helped me find peace and freedom from my eating disorder. " Sara " Today in therapy I got in touch with emotions I’ve been ignoring for awhile now. Thursday was hard and I didn’t understand why. It was exactly 1 year since I left Rosewood, I should have been so proud of myself, but all I felt was guilt and sadness. But today I cried because I realized that I missed Rosewood. Rosewood gave me a family, both during and after treatment. Rosewood gave me light, and hope, and strength when I thought I had none. Looking back I really don’t know how I survived this long. Life still isn’t easy, I doubt it ever will be, but I’m thankful for my second chance… I miss having the support all around me, I regret not giving it my all when I was there, but somehow I still made it. I’ve been in and out of treatment centers since 2010, no more than a few months of hell and then back again. I never found a family in treatment until I came to Rosewood in 2015. Just thank you… I’m sure these words don’t do justice to how much I mean it. I miss my Rosewood family every day and just wanted to take the chance to say how much I love and appreciate you all, and let you know that you are my motivation, you are always on my mind. Hang in there sunshines, and remember that you never have to be alone. "