I stayed because it was the best place for me to spend the holidays the way they are supposed to be spent—with people who love and care about you. People who want you to succeed and will love you until you love yourself. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a “good holiday.” I spent holidays in and out of medical hospitals, psych hospitals, and so high I didn’t even know it was a holiday. I wanted to spend the holidays with my family of choice and I was lucky enough to have the chance to do so. I also got to meet other people’s families and was so fortunate to be included in their holiday as well. Even though I was a thousand miles away from my cat, I was right where I needed to be—holiday or not. While I’m not an advocate of going to treatment with a closed mind (I will not get better, no one understands, no one can possibly help me), I do think that it is worthwhile to get help if even the SMALLEST part of you can recognize that living with an eating disorder is no way to live. Getting help early can mean the possibility of not having to live with long term medical and psychological problems that are side effects of the ED. Also, people don’t always recover on the first try.
I would suggest to anyone to take the chance for treatment while you have it. You never know when it’s going to be too late—when treatment won’t be an option any longer, or when your body gives out because it can’t take another day of torture. Why not get help during the holiday season? I have never heard anyone who is active in their ED talk about how much they enjoyed the holidays! Also, think of your family. Gathered around the table, watching you slowly kill yourself when there is the option to get help available to you. You may think “waiting three more days won’t hurt.” You may be right, but you may be wrong. Your ED doesn’t discriminate between holidays and non-holidays. It is an equal opportunity killer. Missing one Christmas at home is a small price to pay for your future. You won’t be missing the holidays, just spending them with a different family. Don’t make excuses—go.
Ashley
Alum
Rosewood Centers for Eating Disorders
