A few years ago, I checked into Rosewood. Really sick. So depressed. I already felt dead. Love, happiness, family. None of that seemed worth anything to me. It just seemed like work. Opening my eyes in the morning was work. And the work wasn’t worth it to me. Every relationship in my life seemed ruined. I had no job. I dropped out of school. I had no direction and no motivation. I didn’t want to do anything with myself. All I wanted to do was sleep. Escape. Disappear. The world seemed hard, scary, and unforgiving. I hated myself. I hated everyone around me. I hated life. There was no point, no reason to continue. Despite my best efforts, I was graciously handed the help I needed at the time from everyone at the Ranch. And anyone who met me at Rosewood knows that I was NOT open to the experience. I fought it tooth and nail the entire time. And yet, they still helped me. (If I could go back, I would tell everyone around me the same things I was told over & over. Be open, everyone is there to help, and TRUST). Today? Today I am HAPPY. I graduated with a degree. I am in a masters program. I have a great job that I adore. I also teach yoga. I am in love with a man I’m going to marry. I have mended every relationship within my family. I wake up in the morning and count my blessings, excited for what the day will give. The future is bright. My life is filled with light. Yes, I have down days. I am depressive at times. Sometimes I listen to the vicious things ED tells me to do. I have bad body image days. I get down on myself. BUT, I forgive myself. I shake it off. I know I have overcome before, and I will again. I keep my face toward the light and know the future has beautiful things in store. I know that I am in exactly the right place, doing exactly what I should do. Every experience is valuable in it’s own way. Don’t lose hope. Life is up. Life is down. It all comes around. Things always, always get better. The nature of reality is maintain balance, so know that for every low point that you experience there will always be an equal and opposite high point. Tatiana Alum Rosewood Centers For Eating Disorders
