I was 18 when I was admitted to Rosewood in November 2013. I was absolutely petrified and so hopeless for a better life. I knew I was dying and was content with it. I felt like I didn’t deserve to live.
Rosewood believed in me when I couldn’t believe in myself. They helped me fight to get my life back…to live without this horrendous disorder destroying everything I had left. I was determined to have a better outcome than the one my eating disorder had already picked for me. Today, almost two years later, I am 20 years old. I am a sophomore at Arizona State University with a major in Psychology. I have a wonderful job I enjoy going to everyday. I actually have GOALS I’m determined to accomplish. I love swimming, hiking, running, eating ice cream, and laughing. I love meeting new people and trying new things. I have a healthy relationship with exercise and know when my body needs rest. I don’t ever want to lose any of these privileges recovery has given me, which is why I continue to fight. There are still very few days where I want to give up and go back to ED, there are days where I am not happy with what I see in the mirror…days where all I want
to do is simply not do anything.
However, there are days where life is so great, and I feel so free. Food isn’t a challenge. I have confidence in myself and my body. I like spending time with the people I love
and experience what life has to offer. I’ve learned the good days outnumber the bad BY FAR when you’re in recovery. The bad days are simply a reminder to me of how far I’ve come, and I’m proud.
No longer am I the girl who was so sick, depressed, and dying.
No longer do I cling to such a deadly disorder that almost took my life.
ED is not worth it anymore.
For the first time in almost ten years, I am genuinely happy and love life.
I have a future now.
I am alive. I am happy. I am healthy. And most importantly: I am free.
Recovery is always worth it my friends. Always.